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Do you need someone compassionate to help you through the challenging issues of your life?
Steve Harris, PhD

Psychologist & Psychotherapy
Individual & Relational Therapy

Initiating in relationships

When it comes to trying to engage someone in relationships, for instance, to start up a conversation or ask them out for a date, do you:
  • Find that you become increasingly timid;
  • Afraid of rejection;
  • Use many ways to eliminate the possibility of rejection, thereby eliminating any chance of connecting with someone;
  • You feel like there are many barriers to approaching relationships;
  • Feel safer by just avoiding the situation altogether;
  • Suddenly feel small, inadequate, or way under-confident;
  • Start to be unable to think and/or feel fearful of what you are feeling inside;
  • Became more passive and submissive, perhaps even for you;
  • Have trouble knowing what you are feeling;
  • Find yourself wanting to escape or disappear; 
  • Feel powerless and perhaps overwhelmed all at once;
  • Lose track of what you had intended to say.

Some of these and/or other difficulties can make it very difficult to get very far with relationships.  Some individuals with these symptoms have tried things like medications to alleviate some of the anxiety around approaching others.  You may sincerely desire a relationship, but the demands of pursuing one can make it too much as the need for protection can win out over trying to get further along with starting relationships.

If you struggle with these matters, there is help.  I like to meet first with you at a non-committal first meeting to see if we can mutually create a safe place together to begin to explore these matters.  It is often important to:
  • Try to explore the roots and current difficulties around your concerns;
  • Find which kinds of situations elicit your fears;
  • Explore ways to get increasingly fearful and learn at your own pace to discuss matters that you experience in relationships so that you can become more comfortable "in your own skin."
  • Address any associated matters that may complicating the picture;
  • Establish clear goals and discuss how we can work on them;
  • Help you become comfortable around matters you typically avoid;
  • Help you experience increased levels of comfort, reducing the anxiety that you experience around trying to approach/be closer to someone.  



I will be glad to meet with you to sort out these complex matters and implement a plan of action with you!

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If you would like to ask further questions or discuss a course of action to work on your relationship issues, please call (714) 290.1506 or email ([email protected]) me today to schedule an initial consultation.  Please ask about my FREE INITIAL CONSULTATION policy.  Don’t delay getting on with your life any longer!

DISCLAIMER:  Any materials and related content included in this website is provided as a service to the community and for informational purposes only. This website is not meant to provide answers to questions, nor is it meant to serve as a substitute for psychological advice. Steve Harris, Ph.D., makes no claims, promises or guarantees about the accuracy, completeness, or adequacy of the information contained herein. 
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