...OR RELATIONSHIPS: THINGS JUNGIAN. Carl Jung, citing many ancient traditions, indicates that within every man there is the reflection of a woman (his anima), and within every woman there is the Reflection of a man (her animus). Because we are not often aware of this, we tend to project our sexual opposite onto our partners (although different in gay relationships, degrees of "masculine" and "feminine" dimensions are distributed in the relationship). So a man will find a woman who suitably fits his inner feminine. Jungian analyst John Sanford writes, "...a woman who carries such a powerful projection is pleased, at least at first. She feels flattered and valued, and though she may be dimly aware of it, enjoys a feeling of considerable power. The woman usually regrets the situation in time, however, as she experiences the disagreeable side of being the carrier of another person's soul. She eventually will discover that the man begins to suffocate her. If the woman projects onto a man, she is fascinated by him, drawn to him, sees him as the ultimate man and ideal lover." She can become larger than life to her, but this can result in missing out on "the creative flame within herself, having displaced it onto the man," writes Sanford. The man may also feel this as flattering, but can soon feel overwhelmed by what may feel clingy and demanding at its worst. So what feels good and draws us together may also drive us into conflict. The solution does not have to be ending the relationship. Self-exploration and discovery can enhance a relationship by learning what we project and learning to communicate effectively when we feels someone may be projecting onto us.
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